I see lights
Your drunk and in times square. Time to take the 2 train home.
the ugly redhead just came into the bar, wearing a sombrero...by herself... who is going to tell her that its not cool to throw themed parties when you're the only guest?
I wish I could still say I don't know that you taste like bad ice cream.
I just spent the last hour spooning with my drug dealer.
Fell asleep in bio again. Sometimes i feel like college is just one really expensive nap.
stripped for him at 3am on my childhood playground and used the swing set as a pole.
No its cool I don't even have to do anything he is rapping to one of the strippers. He is punishing himself enough.
There are going to be so many Snookis this Halloween that I might just dress as the guy that hit her and punch them all in the face
Thanks for making breakfast. I usually have cereal and coffee...but i think margaritas and turkey sandwiches could catch on.
He challenged me to a drink off, I couldn't just say no. It was a matter of pride really.
And as he was cursing your name from the bathroom you were ordering yourself another drink on his tab. The poor bastard had no clue you were a pro drunk
I'm not going to be your wingman while you are in the hospital.
I just don't remember. It's like I went to bed on July 3rd.. and woke up on the 5th. Nothing.
I may have just tried to argue quantum entanglement as the reason I was still in her bed.
I just used my citation as a bookmark. Want a beer?
Pandemic Silver Lining: cheap hotel rates makes it easier to have afternoon fun with my side dick
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