How can something that makes you feel so good one day make you feel so bad the next?
Alcohol?
Sex with a fat chick.
Sundresses, hats, and big glasses. That is the greatest trick the devil ever taught women.
I can't wait til my little brother reaches the point where puking doesn't mean we stop drinking
she made out with a stripper. how was scrabble night with your girlfriend
I walked in and she was kneeling on the ground with no pants on, throwing up, and holding the puppy. It was one of those moments, where i was like damn i wish i had my camera.
I'll just dance on top of the ping pong table, and if it's stable enough for that, then it's stable enough for sex
Puuuub goooolf. Being trashed at 830 never felt so right
Dude what hole are you on?....and its 9:15
hole5. 2 under par. irish nachos
Driving by his house every hour is not stalking, it's a reconnaissance mission... How else can I confront him
The video of him doing the dougie made me telling him I didn't want a relationship, just his virginity so much easier.
He was running late for work this morning, so I helped him out by finding a matching pair of black socks. And I hated it. So I'm currently drinking and reminding myself of the reasons I will never get married.
If you take a post shower shit just get back in bed. You're better off starting your whole morning all over again.
Tell me why i have 60 matches in 72 hours on tinder. Can i sell my tinder account like people used to sell their myspace pages and tumblrs when they had a lot of followers? Is that a thing?
When creating your wedding guest list do you put the girl you & your fiance had a threesome with under your friends or his friends?
He just kept going down on me. And he was all like, do you mind? No motha fucka, who would? All of his ex's, apparently. Whatever, he's a gem and I'm keeping him.
Yes. I had to slow down my handjob so he would last...-and I give shitty handjobs to begin with
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