She was not exactly lady-like. Down there.
I got raped by $2 you call it's. I'm still hammered. And mentoring high school kids. My life is a joke.
Peanut Butter and turkey sandwich...this may come back to haunt me
Needless to say, wine tasting turned into wine chugging
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Nailed a drunk college girl before the CU game Saturday, and a drunk married woman after the Broncos game Sunday.
Some perfection is debatable.
my one-armed grandma is doing the YMCA. you figure it out.
Wow. Thanks for becoming another fan of something on Facebook. You make me want to gouge my eyes out.
HE HAS A CHODE. LIFE IS NOT GOING TO BE EASY FOR HIM.
I just realized I consumed seven different types of alcohol this weekend. And I'm only counting jungle juice as one of those. How the fuck did I not die?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You need to fuck him. The man has his own Wikipedia.
No gay bar. My eyemake up looks like sex and Im using these dick daggers of mine tonight.
So, my ex just showed me the drunk voicemail we left him last night. Started out with me saying "I think it's Shane." Then you took my phone and started singing a song about peanut butter, train tracks, and tequila. I joined in. On the upside, he said he's totally fine with being on the drunk dial list from now on. Soooo, another tequila night??
BTW he text me to text him later after the concert to hang out. Im prepping my bed but I should know I shouldn't count my dicks before they hatch
I should be done at 8 and I've also done a great Job of convincing my self that I should get really drunk tonight
I found your dog. Now we are bros, so he is staying. Don't call, don't make it weird.
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