how about we just leave your boyfriend out of this
Manager just farted into the intercom. Whole place heard it. A number of people stopped everything and looked at him. Best. Night. Ever.
As a driver I hate pedestrians, and as a pedestrian I hate drivers, but no matter what the mode of transportation, I always hate cyclists.
We need to talk in the morning. The guy I was with just interpreted me taking off my earrings as code for "let me take off my pants."
hows the party?
ists fjcssing insceredle
be there in 10
idk if its the weather or the "im still drunk" or the morning sex i just had with my roommates gf but that was def the most enjoyable walk in the rain ever
My ex best friend's ex fuck buddy is visiting. There was no other option but day drinking.
my question is who was more confortable? You sleeping on the floor or me tweeting from a bush?
I haven't seen her in probably 3 months and when she showed up wasted to my house she promptly pulled out her tit
I had sex in the back of a hot foreign guy with a lacoste eye patch's car
Drake has all the answers
Does it get any better than dating a guy with a vasectomy? The answer is NO. No it does not
It seems that Coffee is the true alpha male.
I should've known a straight guy wouldn't know all the words to Moana
I dont need your sympathy!!!! Just a fifth of vodka and gummy bears...lots and lots of gummy bears to take my agression out on.
Randomize
