Until that no good dick sucking whore stays away from my boyfriend I am gonna start blowing all of his friends...
Sex has been so nonexistent lately that when I was masturbating the other day, I actually paused to yawn.
she was so ugly that the sight of her made me shiver and then i had to play it off like a draft blew by that only i felt.
It doesn't matter if he doesn't speak English because I speak the international language of blowies.
A horse told me not to drive home last night. I think there was a cop on top of it.
The freshman next to me just said "I was rocking out on my way here to Dave Matthews..." I wish I would have passed this class the first time.
Well, I found my bra. It's in my glove compartment with a half-eaten Snickers bar and a Jesus bookmark.
it's graduation. he's gonna get congratulations slash emotional i cant believe youre leaving me sex.
I know how to say Yes, No, and Your Mother's Vagina. So almost fluent.
I don't know what I would do if cheese never existed
Someone's stooooned
Treating myself to outback while reading the entire manual that comes with my birth control in public. Is this what single has come to?
If sandwichs had dicks, my life would be complete
He sent me a picture of his dick as a snake, I'd say things are going great.
i just love the holidays, i hotboxed a gingerbread house last night
Turns out tits aren't quite as effective an enticement when they know for a fact that they can't touch.
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