happy early fathers day!!!
im not a father
about that...
I just want you to know the floor between our rooms isnt sound proof "Captain Cock"
Its 11am everyones wasted wearing sombreros and eating fresh produce..cesar chavez would be very proud
there is no 'pace myself' on the blackout express
thinking back, the fact that our bartender was missing a finger shouldve been hint number one not to let him pick our drinks
because drunk making out is frowned upon in museums i think
Please stop using me as a reference for bail bondsmen.
I'm drawing the line at your vagina. I will not accompany you to get that pierced and/or tattooed. There's got to be some mystery to our relationship.
I smell like hot dogs and captain morgan it's 11:20 am what is my life
Muscle is literally tearing itself off of my shins. No I am not going on another bar crawl with you.
I'll pay?
Pick me up at 9.
Not many people can say they've been photo bombed by an antelope. I sure did.
Apparently I called him, said "vodka" and then hung up on him.
He just kept repeating "It was like meep meep meep on my balls."
i have a serious question for you... Why I am i not wearing any pants?
She's the other freshman on this drunken voyage
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