can a staight man not wear seersucker in this town?
We basically counted to 3 and then dumped each other.
I did something last night that I shouldn't have, but I don't want to tell you because you'll probably just make it your fb status...
I see you've learned your lesson.
She asked how far humans have gone into a volcano because they did in spy kids. She was serious.
Well then I realized I had a bigger problem when I woke up a long board.
If I refrain from fucking my manager, I'm going to reward myself by fucking that guy from the photo department.
Guys, right now i need a picture of a squirrel, preferably with one of you guys but not necessary.
its fine. mom just made me chug a long island. and made a crying face when i balked. we'll talk tomorrow.
I may have just serenaded the sadface couple sitting on a bench outside the dorm by singing Bye Bye Bye.
Here's how he asked the pregnant girl for a cigarette. Hey yo prego throw me a square. Not joking.
I just mistook cooking oil for the whiskey that was also on the counter... They're the same colour. That was not a good shot... I need to not drink alone.
Gross! What the hell is that?!?
It's quite clearly a man posing erotically with multiple packages of bacon.
I found out my butt plug has a metal core at the airport security checkpoint...
Maybe he injected his testicle?
Probably won't be invited back there again considering last time his purebred corgi ate my pot brownie and had to be rushed to the hospital.
Randomize
