Mel Gibson is dating a 24 year old
You're not Mel Gibson and I'm not 24.
there's nothing like that first "just failed out of my program" beer
I hereby state that I am over the age of 18. If I am not of age to purchase or consume alcohol products, I hereby acknowledge that I have not received any alcohol products from said party host. Also, in the event of injury or death, said party host is not to be held accountable. Please reply with your full name and today's date for your e-signature". *note: no text, no entry.*
Sorry bro, just a precaution. You know, ever since the "Jake incident". What a douche.
I wish we knew morse code and could knock to each other through the wall
You're dating a nurse! That's smart, you never know when you'll have a medical emergency. Probably liver failure.
I had 17 beers 2 days ago. I'm not dad material yet
Just finished off half a bottle of vodka. Can't take in anymore liquids so I ate 3 spoonfuls of your powdered gatorade to fight off the hangover. Wish me luck and check me for a pulse when you get in!
i woke up at 4 pm face down on my hardwood living room floor. i would say its a new low but i think I found my new napping spot
So apparently there is enough alcohol to get me to agree to going to a strip club, but when I have enough they don't let me in.
But idk if I cried about life then banged him or banged him and then cried. Chicken or the egg?
never planned on seeing last weekend's one night stand again, much less be on the same plane as him..
I repeat do not go to a jail visit drunk, those stools are easy to fall off.
Nah it's alright, I'll just ride cock all the way to hell
2:34, make a wish! I wish I wasn't on acid at Planned Parenthood. What's yours?
I'm sorry for what I said when I was orgasming
Randomize
