if sarah has 12 dollars and spends 6 of it on cheap booze how much will she spend on hangover food the next morning?
4 on the dollar menu at mcdonalds
mom cant say that college never taught us math
she's not even a shacker, she never made it inside. she's just a porch girl
i was so fucked up i thought i was at home depot
Im in Ft Meyers right now looking right at an alligator. I have had a couple of beers and people are telling me not to feed him but Im gonna do it anyway.
I basically have a picture with a half naked foreign exchange student. He kept screaming rolltide and i felt like a traitor
Who has the safety vest from this past weekend Additionally, who has the dancemaster glove?
So I spent all night thinking my bed was floating down a river and telling the cats to get on the bed because they were going to float away. Percocet is strong shit.
Well she just asked a sorority girl if she should fuck her floor mate so it's basically like the blind leading the blind
There was a deer right in front of me when I came. Sex in the forest is awesome
I think I'm just going to go like every guy on tinder who has a jetski. I'm doing this for us, Summer is coming.
I preemptively put on a cape before eating a bunch of weed brownies. Best decision ever.
She stopped me mid sex to ask if she could finish my ramen, I've found the one.
The smoothie place is closed, but the liquor store is open and wine is kinda like a smoothie.
YOU ATE THE FUCKING GOLDFISH!?
I just saw a chick driving drinking a juice box smoking all while on the phone that is talent
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