I think I tried picking up these girls last night by asking them what their favorite color was...I obviously woke up alone
i'll give you all the meat in my fridge in exchange for 2 condoms.
i got pulled over in my 'cops love me' tshirt. he didn't think it was funny when i pointed it out.
Me and my dog bond so much when im high.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I fucked the bump it out of her hair. just had to let everyone know.
I didnt realize we were having a competition in poor decision making skills
how else could I explain the last few years
he fell down during beer pong and the chick told him to rub the sand out of his pussy and suck it up. i am in love
At least I look tastefully trashed. My nipples are hidden and I'm standing up.
theres 2 cans of open Campbell's soup on the counter and a note that says "guess which one is puke" ... want lunch?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I really want to fuck that guy in the full wind breaker suit
At least I made out with him before he made out with that dog...
Getting dressed and listening to the song Buffalo Bill danced to in Silence of the Lambs. I'm a perfect psych major.
Sending emails to my new boss whilst unable to move from the toilet seat because of alcohol. Great start to a new job as a school counselor.
you were on a whole other level. you went home with him because he said "you got some light ass eyes"
What does "mood AF" mean?
Mood as fuck.
Why did you comment that on a video of a gorilla throwing its own shit?
Randomize