Just heard "Kiss Me Though the Phone" for the first time. Amazed how it took Soulja Boy two songs to become a shitter version of Ja Rule.
Sorry if I ruined your sex last night with my constant text updates about the plot of Bolt.
the pizza man had no reaction when jackie and me opened the door naked, i guess he's used to that shit
so as we were driving to pick up my grandma from old navy she procedes to yell into our open window.. "I'll make ya holla fo a dolla" umm...
i love waking up at 5am with an imprint of a toilet seat on my chest
I have your car and your sandals. My shoes are somewhere under the puke couch. Safari time.
We found her on a strangers doorstep chanting "I know someone will let me in" it took 2 of us to drag her to the car.
michael burned off one of his eyebrows making a pizza so he had to shave off the other one to make it look even. it doesn't look right, but I'd still bang him.
I wasn't a groupie because I didn't carry his guitar home
moms trying to set me up with a 28 year old. hes graduated university like im getting high in my bed and he's an adult
As we have told you before, the first rule of hook-up bingo is we don't talk about hook-up bingo
I'm so high. I'm going to need directions to get home.
She told me she was the Publishers Clearing House of Dicks. Two dicks a day, everyday for life.
So I considered mediating this morning and instead I master-bated...same thing right?
And if you haven't kicked a pigeon you haven't started your morning right
Randomize
