You know how I told you I don't have many naked pics? Apparently that changed last night.
They made my facebook status "I got my period!!!." Every guy I've had sex with at college liked it.
he was humming party in the usa while we were having sex.
I couldn't remember if it was hamsters or Iraq that you hated. I'm so sorry.
Instead of centeral air we are getting a margaritaville machine. Thought you would enjoy our logic
My dick is covered in produce stickers. I suspect you
Valentines day isn't about being a couple in love..... It's about chocolate and faking orgasms.
My roommate said I banged on the wall and said, "this dude eats pussy like a champ."
I've already agreed to hook up with 3 people tonight, and its not even 2:00 yet... I think this is what the path to success looks like.
Why is there soup literally in every orifice of my body?
My synapses wont fire in a pattern that will process those facts
The bottle brush for the bong worked really well to clean the brownies out of the waffle maker.
He signed my ass with a Waffle House pen.
First you stole a hockey stick out of the nieghbors yard and claimed you were moses leading his children home. Then you led us around the same block twice before I called the cab
please don't ironically join a cult
Randomize
