so ur a construction worker, male escort, sex god and surfer? lol
well its been awhile since I've surfed
You can't hide fat with big sunglasses.
A chick at the bar last night took my black berry, looked at my Brick Breaker score and told me she couldnt take someone that has a lower score than her seriously.
just printed 333 ways to get kicked out of wal-mart. hello thursday night.
i said good morning to each one of his abs personally
Ya I got a cut on my head from the toilet seat last time I drank there.
I like to think of it as a lesbian feast.
Its like no one cares im drunk naked wet and ready to throw myself at some one hold on i found a solution to my problems
I love pie. Pie understands me and the spatula
Can you imagine how doomed are children are? I mean for one they have our genetics and then we will ruin them as parents. It will be the most magical adventure. Let's not start soon, too many adventures at hand that involve immense amounts of alcohol.
If she has AMC, I may have to fuck her today. I want to catch up on the walking dead.
You have no idea how pumped I am. I literally plan on dying. You're in my will
Do it!! We better have a duck by the time I get home.
So I might join you on the drunk train on the way to poor decisions.
So a bottle of lube exploded all over my softball bag and Nike shirt.
The high school classes are online, not my sex life. He still comes over for “teacher / parent conferences.” A couple more “conferences” and I’ll be able to rewrite the Sex Ed curriculum
Randomize
