theres a boy scout troop on my plane. right now theyre playing wilderness games. let me just tell you how excited i am to hit on all of them
I sold my books for weed money!
Finals don't start for a week...
oh my god. i just found my camera... on top of the bush outside of my house. never let me drink everclear again
creepy tank top guy is at campus health. he's hitting on a girl recovering from a panic attack.
Just know that as we speak i am injecting vodka into gushers
There's a wake for a coworker on 420 during te time of 420... Hoping everyone will be too sad to notice how high I am.
That's your penis' name. I've always referred to it as Alejandro secretly.
You can drink as much as you want but it's not gunna make her forehead any smaller
I was hoping it might at least fix her teeth
Getting high magically turns headaches into rainbows.
I beat my mom's friend's boyfriend in a vodka chugging competition. Our generation FTW.
I was originally going to go as fembot from Austin Powers
I wanted to have tiny guns for tits
Your vagina felt like having sex with thanksgiving mashed potatoes. The best kind of mashed potatoes
He was stoned laying on my bed singing I'm a little tea cup while I took a pregnancy test. Thank god it was negative.
Also, if you don't fuck me soon, I will die. I don't want to die like that.
It finally happened my mom knowingly gave me money to buy drugs i knew this day would come\n
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