Tall, dark & handsome can suck my short, pale & awkward dick.
i asked him to tell me something nice and he said "your vagina is really tight."
My professor just used "labia" and "numchucks" in the same sentence. I am dying.
distance makes the heart seek blowjobs from girls that are closer i heard.
my step dad just called me a drunken slut..someone in my family finally understands me
Just saw some guy puking out of the dorm window, its for sure monday
At what point were we discussing suction-cupping a dildo to the wall?
I have to stop envisioning penises as dragons.
My neighbour is taking her hamster for a walk on a leash. Come over now
I'm sitting with my parents watching football and moaned when I saw his shirtless picture. They looked at me weird so I had to turn the moan into a laugh. A sad, really horny laugh.
I found him in his pink and white boxer out side the dorm hall and the only thing he said was "it wouldn't let me in"
I texted him 3 days ago he said he was pre gaming for the Super Bowl today he just text" gtomajg kaka hee 48!!!"
I don't care how great the sex was, I cannot unsee what has been seen. I regret ever stalking his Facebook.
Do you think the firemen will remember me?
Yes. But you were sloppy, sobbing, and puked on two of them. You won't get in their pants.
He's nice to look at and knows the difference between your and you're. I win.
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