So someone put the baby mannequins in sex positions
he pushed my hair back because he said it made me look like kelly kapowski and he told me to call him zach
Please tell me the foreign boys in the kitchen this morning were yours.
It was beyond pathetic. You yelled her name at every blonde chick we saw hoping it would be her. Then you puked your corn dog
he forgot there was a midterm today. i watched him break his own finger to get out of it.
Ya. I was the definition of a shit show. I woke up outside my door when my alarm went off
she's like a sexy human version of my cat. i can't catch her, and she keeps throwing up in the corners.
I was unconscious Saturday for like 6 hours after I passed out on the sidewalks of our nation's capital. Thank you America, for bottomless brunch.
Apparently I took a selfie with fried chicken at 2 am....I'm still trying to figure out where I got the chicken. I thought I was making mac & cheese.
FINALLY GOT MY TENTH DICK. PARTY FOREVER
He just pulled his sweatpants down and pissed in the middle of our garden
there is another microwave in the elevator.
I’ve been home 1 day and already had sex with my ex and got a blowie from her cousin and currently I’m getting molested by a cougar at the bar!!!! Plenty to give thanks for this year!!!!
wow. that really looks like a penis. not a top hat
Is 6 weeks really a benchmark now?
Ask me in 6 more weeks, when they're in a bisexual polycule.
Randomize
