Who has a tranny cab driver? I have a tranny cab driver.
Don't remember shit. It was only until I saw the glaze on my forearm that I knew you drove to get donuts last night. I also spent 20$ there apparently
2 more and I will have fucked 75 percent of my acting class. best. elective. ever.
Finding a keg in our kitchen would be like god personally high fiving each of us.
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WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WE'RE WATCHING BIRTHING VIDEOS!!!!
There were two girls and a guy on a bed and now i can put porn director on my resume.
THAT FUCKER WASTED TWO OF MY COLORED CONDOMS! HE DIDN'T EVEN FUCKING FINISH IN IT HE JUST SLAPPED IT ON AND WASTED IT!
I never actually go in the club. I get in line, hit on a chick, and convince her to come drink all she wants for free at my house.
So really what you're asking for is an allowance to not have sex on our futon.
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GETTING HORNY AT RANDOM IS REALLY FUCKING INCONSIDERATE.
By far the fardest thing to do drunk is open a band aid
I left my ice cream out over night, it's melted, fuck this, I just poured Bailey's in it. Problems solved.
Due to this morning's events my new porn name is Reepa Nipplov.
Showed up to the airport to find my fuck buddy is on the same flight. Do you think he'd be intertested in the mile high club?
I always feel bad for the sober driver... Never been me but I feel bad... empathetic AF
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