Did he leave or is he still there?
He left right away, I might have passed out. I saw your text and was like who left where? Then the oh shit feeling sunk in, hangover starting now.
she looked like the before picture.
it was like she was tryin to eat my face and i was defending myself with my mouth
Whatever, you were 10 deep and there was a hot tub. No judgment.
didn't have any spoons so I beer bonged my chicken noodle soup. I fucking love camping.
the boat had a sign not to jump off the roof of it, which gave us the idea to jump off the roof of it
We're gonna take a moment of silence to pray... that his penis is as pretty and as talented as his brothers.
Better than road-head. Just got model-home-head. Also got a disapproving scowl of judgment from the realtor on the way out.
Eh maybe I should give her a chance. Let's see where making a porno takes the friendship
I am his drunk Jesus. I will love him from afar because he's my little lamb
So how did it go?
I'm not sure if it was all the eggnog or all the alcohol, but hosting an eggnog pong tournament was a mistake.
Uhmm, it's called hentai.
I DON'T CARE WHAT IT'S CALLED I DON'T WANT TO SEE IT ON MY WORK COMPUTER
I have chicken nuggets, lube and brand new batteries, he can stay at work charting all weekend for all I care, I'm set.
you were so drunk that when the mouse on your laptop didnt work anymore you decided to just take it into the bathroom and pee on it while laughing like a mad scientist.
You use your abs way more than I realized. Btw multiple orgasms is the best thing I've ever discovered.
Randomize
