Who did Billy Mays play for?
We had sex on a ferris wheel in canada, our relationship will never be the same
I realised my life had gone downhill since being unemployed when I was making key lime pie on acid at 3am Tuesday morning.
Drunk puking in my bathtub has plugged it up for the third time this year. I hate these calls to my landlord.
My neck kind of hurts. I think from sleeping on the concrete.
Calm the fuck down fatty, you can add creme de menthe to a vanilla shake any time of the year
it was also funny because at one point I woke up with my hands tied with a belt and we were both like what the fuck
One day i'll wow you with artfully trimmed pubes.
My diet has been 80% Fun Dip this week, soooo, no. Not good.
Last night was a whirlwind of vodka - induced emotion
I wanna trust fall face first on a penis.
Its really awkward pooping while on videochat. Even if you turn the video off.
I can appreciate that you picked up the hot drummer, but don’t have sex in front of my house lmao
if they didn't want us to do blow at uni, why would they make textbooks so smooth?
Alone, in the dark, eating tacos and drinking vodka. Who's apartment is this?
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