You asked the officer if he could bring you to the same jail as T.I.
This girl in my class is wearing a sweatshirt that says "LEAD ME NOT INTO TEMPTATION" ahaha I almost just laughed out loud. We could never be friends
Do you know how hard it is to masturbate with a runny nose?
He' s half Black and half Italian, I finally asked...this penis maybe one for the records.
The meeting is at the same hotel we go to for sex. Avoiding eye contact with all the staff there.
nothing says 'im willing to leave my comfort zone for you' like letting you choke me during sex
Times like this, when you talk openly about Tinkerbell being your spirit animal, are times when I'm allowed to question your sexuality.
You don't understand. There's baclava and there's post sex baclava. You can't compare the two.
Had sex in a cemetery last night during a thunderstorm. I feel like my goth points have skyrocketed
When you put the phrases "just out of shower" and "did you get the picture" that close together, a picture of hamburger helper is not exactly what I expected to pop up.
Well my parents know I get medical Cannabis they saw me on the news at the dispensary
You have not lived until you've slid down a waterfall fucked out of your mind. Fact.
You know that pill i snorted last night? Yeh, its just hitting me now..... At work
JB just got pulled over and I am in the trunk...... this isnt good
hey if my parents say thanks for the meatballs just go with it ill explain later
Randomize
