omg! a creepy truck driver just made a frog puppet wave at me!!!
Have you ever had champagne poured on you during sex? It was like a rap video
good. and stop kissing my girl you dirty slut.
i don't think she's still your girl..plus, she kept screaming "kiss me! i'm a lesbian!" last night so i think you're outta luck..
some girl just asked me how to spell unconscious. I really want to know what she was texting.
i just lost my virginity for the 9th time. when will guys stop believing that nonsense line
Also I'm 95 percent positive we ate food naked together
I don't know but the stairs are covered in apples
i told you that I felt like my feet were melting into the ground and you starting blowing on them to put out the "invisible fire". thanks friend.
There was a gay guy in drag passed out against the wall but we had sex in there anyway.
My grandpa is giving me detailed instructions on how to fight a second floor bedroom fire from a ladder on the out side. Just in case
This is God's way of telling me He loves me and wants me to be a cocktease.
Go forth my daughter and give blue balls to all who may gaze upon your tits.
Good luck getting that all cat food off in the shower dumbass
just passed my midterm while getting a blow job. i love going to school online
I have 2 bottles of wine, a sharpie, and a panda mask and don't have to wake up early. Can u do the math on this?
Apparently I gave a guy a hand job on the dance floor. ON THE DANCE FLOOR.
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