Yep Great. Apparently I didn't just say things once that night. Drink. Yell. Repeat.
U also mentioned u werent wearing any underwear hahahaha
If this place produced love children they would be born wearing Lilly Pullitzer with raging coke addictions.
Down at cameli's and some homeless dude just pulled out a taser. Awesome.
To justify your stumbling you just kept yelling 'it's the boat, not the drinks' We hadn't even left the dock yet....
I'm covered in pickle juice. Why do you people leave me alone?
why is there an outline of nathan's body on my wall in whip cream?
Just to warn you I probably wont be able to do anything that involves standing up
Smoked before work and just remembered i left pringles in my desk last time i was high. SCORE
She was blowing me when her roommate came in and goes "you want me to tap in?"
You realize once your inheritance is finalized this shit will stop happening right?
well. can officially check "get caught having sex on the front porch by the neighbors" off the bucket list.
I'm worried about your health. And your boobs. Actually, health, then boobs. Health first, boobs second. And third.
Just got a blow job from a woman on a ski slope. She said ski'ing frightens her and giving head calms her down. Glad I could help ma'am!
I don't think he likes that I'm always sending him pictures of me in my bra but he needs to get it together
Lobby closes at 2 AM on Thursday, but everyone walking still wants food... I could run a "Taco Bell Taxi" when I clock off at 2 and charge a dollar to give drunks a ride through drive thru.
Someones thought of a way to afford tuition.
Im experiencing the awkward moment after realizing two of my straight female friends have had sex with each other
Randomize
