Id pretty much put it in anything at this point. Jello. Dogs. 12 year old boys
I can't believe he cheated
Whatever. Anytime she has an orgasm, it's because I taught him how
This escort grabbed my boyfriends ass and it became clear, he fucked pretty much anything he could find prior to dating me.
Is it possible to get a DUI in a wheelchair that's not yours?
I'm alone drinking at the bar and the titanic theme song is on. This won't end well.
Just put an ad on Craigslist for a fake groom... I'm sure only non creepy sane people will respond to it
I think I'm just gonna be a cat and wear slutty black clothes with some eyeliner on my face and pretend my ears got stolen by a drunk guy
If I show up to the mall alone looking like I do to purchase a vibrator and some Japanese food, I would judge me too.
pretty sure I woke up to him jacking himself off IN MY BED
Trump won PA by a fucking landslide. If only Cruz hadn't eaten that booger.
So you were shitfaced and stole a fucking kayak?
I blame everything on you. My broken heart, my fucked up liver and my twisted mind.
I'm going to tell you a beautiful word.
Fellatio.
If u could sum last night up in one word?
omgwtfpineapple
I think I just sharted jello shots
Randomize
