Did you hallucinate the same white buffalo that I did last night.
No, but I did see you shaking hands with a homeless man.
we were both hunting dick last night. it ended terribly for both of us.
i hope chris hansen doesn't have a boat
i told her my name was noah and she leans in and whispers "that makes me so wet." ive never been more thankful for the Notebook
saw a pregnant woman in a bridal gown standing on the side of the road while her car was getting searched by police....cheers to new beginnings
he went down on me with a nose plug on, you tell me how it went
Don't get the hula weed. It makes you sleep walk in destructive and confusing ways. I'll explain on Saturday.
No I just rolled on the floor giggling. I think that's the equivalent to a post sex victory dance.
So this is where people who peaked in high school come to drink?
I was trying to fart in my sleep in the hopes that he would leave
There was a huge crash. I came out of my room to find you sprawled out at the bottom of the stairs in your bra and panties. You looked at me, yelled 'WHAT AM I DOING WITH MY LIFE' and then ran back into his room.
I just drank beer out of an old Vicodin bottle hoping to catch some residue. That's how finals week is going
I feel like ditching all logic and responsibility and get shit-faced before the week's over. Thoughts?
Think of the things uve done in the past. And ask urself "have I done worse?" If u answer yes. Its perfectly ok.
WHAT THE FUCK HAPPENED. WHO CAME HOME WITH ME. WHAT THE FUCK RESPOND ASAP I AM SO CONFUSED
Randomize
