the doormen always congratulate him in spanish as he walks me downstairs in the morning
and she was petting her beer can
Just because i have a masturbation problem doesnt mean you can put 20 photos of Jesus in my room.
I finally got laid.. you said it wouldn't happen.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm eating dry tortillas on a mattress without a sheet. and i thought my life would change after graduation.
i didn't realize we were even dating until i ran out of weed
I want a burrito.
Truly, you are the voice of a generation.
I thought turtle was a code word for weed until he pulled out a baby turtle from his pocket and said "$20 for a turtle"
This is a sacred holiday in the land of the free! I do what I want!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
STOP WHATEVER YOU ARE DOING AND GO OUTSIDE RIGHT NOW. THE MOON LOOKS LIKE CATWOMAN
I just want it to be said that I had sex in my Belle dress last night. Classy motherfucker.
I mean, as I was vomiting in front of a giant crucifix I became acutely aware of my poor choices
I'm 99% sure I just flashed my dad with my vagina. So that's the new low now.
That moment during finals day when you either convince your teacher to let you out of the room or you shit you pants.
About to go make a man out of a 24 year old boy
As I shove my ninth taquito of the day into my mouth...
Picking our battles
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