Using pot as a way to stop crying probably isn't a good sign huh?
Meh, some people pop Prozac, you smoke weed. Po-tay-to. po-tah-to
Women are like Alzheimers patiens. You can compliment them a million times in a day, but the next day is always a wash, you have to start all over.
I have big tits. Rules don't apply to me.
What a tease, dude. She's giving me emotional blue balls.
I have a ginormous moral hangover. Strip club blues.
i'm having flashbacks of crying and telling you i was made out of egg salad.
You weren't just peeing. You were like grinding on it. And you tried to pee in the washing machine first.
There's some drunk girl alone in the field, she looks like she could use some help.
Also it's only fair that you know that that girl is me.
Dude she's famous. She's on an episode of campus pd. Can't not fuck her
Should I have a moral quandary about Skyping topless with him while his son slept in the other room?
But I just had this pork pâté. It was dick grabbing.
No one is allowed to go to bed until all bottles are finished, I don't want to feel my face tongiht. Do you understand?
I'm a hopeless romantic with the sex drive of a married politician. IM DOOMED.
We were so amazed while watching mission impossible ghost protocol last night we didn't even have sex
My younger brother asked me "to stop fucking his girlfriends older sisters"
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