Ben's a prick.
What Ben are you talking about?
All the bens across all the lands
woke up to find a pram in the balcony. first thing we did was look over the edge!
One of the cleaning ladies on my floor just screamed from the bathroom
The worst mistakes make the best memories. Write that down.
They're doing a Bong-A-Thon for 4/20. I don't care if you quit. You are coming out of your weed retirement for this.
You just kept yelling, "THAT'S THE POWER OF PINESOL, BABY!"
she's living proof man. somebody has literally pissed in the gene pool
I would personally love to see the surveillance video of me throwing my stuff inside, peeing on the sidewalk, then crying hysterically when I realized I locked myself out. Again.
I went around and congratulated every guy that had a beard for having one
Goddamn tequila
It's surprise blowjob week. You should be excited.
Ran into his mom at the bar, i told her "i know he's married now but I'd still do him"
I fucking hate you. Some slutty looking drunk chick backed her ass up across the bar and started grinding on you. You ignored her because you didn't want to share you drink
I care about my drink far more than her feelings
On a side note...my DUI lawyer just snapchatted me. This is the exact moment in time when I realized my like IS a joke.
Watching Faye Reagan porn all weekend for St Patty's day. Nothing has ever seemed more appropriate.
For reals. He's my age and he still hangs out at his frat house & gets hammered every weekend. Idk if I'm jealous of him or if I pity him
Randomize
