I just put my retainer in and it tastes like weed
So as she is about to take the walk of shame she flips out. Apparently someone left a brown present in her shoes.
He started making shapes and faces with his cock and balls.... apparently if you wrap the shaft with your balls and turn it 90 degrees to the left it looks like a hamburger
Disgusting. If I saw her naked my dick would pack up his balls and leave.
i was staring at it trying to desperately see a vagina
on the way home I asked you what exit we get off at and your answer was "just like the goldfish"
I hope your lack of response means you're banging, not talking about her purity ring.
The woman at the bus stop told me i smell delicious and asked if i wear cotton then proceeded to tell me about her shellfish allergy
I woke up to a 3rd person picture of my own dick sent from a 1-800 number..
Today wasn't Sunday Funday, it was more like Sunday god is taking a shit on my life day
It was drunk tag. I was Alice in wonderland chasing a ballerina who was chasing Lance Armstrong who had needles in his arms.
Does it make me immature that I debated going to this baby shower stoned, or am I normal as shit and everyone our age are having babies too young?
Mate, you pissed in my bed. Then told me to "Just keep swimming"
If the fate of the world hinged on some chubby girl getting laid, the president would dispatch me with a fifth of Jameson immediately and then rest easy.
nothing out of the ordinary. you aplogized for having a spicy vagina and passed out
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