I'm not looking forward to the waking up early part. Or actually the wedding part. Or the reception part. But I am looking forward to the meaningless sex with some random guy I meet at the reception part.
i kno its fucked up..but id rather sleep it off than seek medical attention right now
Dude, I woke up in the kitchen, naked, with a blueberry bagel as a pillow.
Can I eat your pillow?
I sent you an email today but due to work restrictions, I had to misspell choke sex
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last thing I heard her say before I passed out was 'this is great. I never get to be the big spoon.'
And nobody saved him?? That chick had like three teeth TOPS
I just typed in random letters on his address bar... 5 out of the 6....a porn site was in the drop down list hahahahaha get a life bro.
Day drunk and a can of soup and wine straight from the bottle and alone and on my kitchen floor.
Her throat is strong enough to gargle peanut butter. I'm sure you were satisfied.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And I think your bro would be happy to know that when I took my bra off like 10lbs of confetti fell out. It was like my tits were celebrating being free
The Blue Grotto manager called. He asked me for your name and number. Apparently, on reviewing the videotape he noticed you consumed a whole pizza by yourself. He indicated that he has a tshirt for you and wants to put your picture on his eating wall of fame. Apparently, you are the first such person to complete this incredible feat of eating. Congratulations to you!! I am so proud.
Cleaning my pipe and using the left over resin solution to make THC laced rolling papers and a jar of hash oil/honey for my tea
WE USE THE WHOLE BUFFALO
Something about the fact that I could do coke off her ass cheeks just speaks to me
I've entered the world of uncircumcised penises. It's disgusting.
once he tried to wake me up from my hangover nap to have sex, that's when things went downhill. he had to go.
Randomize