I think I just saw the travelocity gnome in leather chaps.
Fuck, operation next sex victim is on as soon as i get back. Do not sleep with that red head, nobody likes accidental ginger babies.
I woke up around 30 bottles of beer, with a piece of aluminum foil in my hand, that had "you Win" Wrote in sharpie..
we had a 10 minute conversation with his family about how I don't let him eat me out. I want to go home
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My piss changed color midstream. Think that means I have a 50/50 chance of passing the test?
his mom walked in, looked at me, sighed n nsaid 'when are u gonna learn' n walked out
He decided not to draw dicks on my face when I passed out because he was afraid I'd retaliate and superglue his dick to his stomach....he knows me too well.
A Bum and I jusst hugged. its not even 8 pm.
I tell myself every day I shouldn't be friends with you
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Denial and avoidance are my survival strategies for 2013.
Denial, avoidance and beer.
I'm right down the road from AJ's old house and I'm getting mixed feelings. My vagina is remembering good dick. But the rest of me is remembering horrible times.
That was just an endearing nickname I called you before. I'm not gonna call you a filthy slut now that you are one, I don't want to hurt your feelings.
Is it bad I have to get shitty ass drunk on a Monday night because I can't adult?
enjoying your night?
do dogs like to salsa?
I dont know if that answers my question or not
she passed out standing next to the car. her head hit the door so hard the alarm went off. she instantly snapped out of it and started sprinting away
Randomize