I got date raped at Sigma Chi last night!
Dude, you never made it to Chi last night. You fell into a tree and passed out.
why did i save someone in my phone as corn dildo?
I tried to throw up out of my window but I forgot there was a mesh screen.
The most interesting things happen to you when your pants come down. I truly envy you.
You dont understand. she was my french AND spanish teacher. that's 2 kinds of freaky. i have to find her on facebook.
Just got an email from TMobile. Said they were going to pursue "more qualified" candidates. So this is what rock bottom feels like.
He walked in, tore open the drawer, pulled out a condom, and slammed it shut. He was that ready.
we were boning in the bathroom when her boyfriend came upstairs. I wish i could remember what happened next more clearly, because it had to have been hilarious
What the fuck am I going to do with a pinata full of tampons?
in case you were wondering, even a BJ under a blanket on the back of a bus only lifts a 14-hour bus ride to borderline tolerable.
He just pulled out my weave during sex....needless to say I'm embarrassed and in need of another shot pronto
Today is get drunk without showing anyone my penis day
have fuck
*fun
actually forget it have a fuck too it'll do you good
I don't want to date him...I just want him to cheat on his girlfriend with me.
My cat is sitting in the window watching the neighbor's dogs doing it. I think she's lonely too.
Randomize