Car fucking is for special occasions like birthdays and bank holidays. Don't want to lose the magic by making it an everyday thing.
We had sex in his tahoe, talked about how we don't love each other and then high fived twice. Best Day Ever
he fucked me so hard my future children felt it
Who would we be if we didn't go out to drink during finals week? NOBODY
you called me in the middle of the night, wandering the streets, in search of "the ultimate burrito"
I don't think she can come out, she went too hard in the Intro to Theater Drinking Game at 2:30
Last thing I ever expected to say, "Get your finger out of my ear or I will stop sucking your dick."
And know that if I ever text "road head?" that it comes from a place of caring and not a place of heartlessness..
I'll be thirty in eight months. I think my goal is too stop changing my pants in the parking lot at work by then.
I woke up with what appeared to be LSD in my pocket. Know anything about this?
He was awful. Hubby's was apparently epic. I suck at swinging.
Yes, you can go into Petsmart drunk but the cats awaiting adoption don't appreciate the soft pretzels squeezed through their cages.
Somehow reaching for the flaming hot cheetos ended up in the best sex of my life
She is getting high and watching the Hobbit. I want her life.
So she is basically watching her own life story: short people traveling to strange places.
just woke up to an abnormally swollen ankle (broken, perhaps?) and a shirtless man with the most beautiful abs I've ever seen sleeping on my floor.
is your ankle ok??
WHY IS HE ON THE FLOOR. SINCE WHEN DOES BLACKOUT ME ALSO COCKBLOCK ME
Randomize
