Want to have sex later?
This feels like a trap
It's either jizz or frosting, and either way, someone's being held accountable.
we've started having sober sex
you really do like him
Did you write "I hope this gives you aids" on my box of capn crunch?
I walked home with an awkward asain couple. There was a language barrier but I think we're friends now.
We were trying to sober you with hotdog buns but you refused put half of it in your bra and said you'd save it for later
then she kicked a hole in her own door and the next thing you know, brian's walking up to her room with power tools. in no condition to use them
The second I see you we're shot gunning beers
It's gonna be 8 o'clock in the morning
And your point is?
Marry me
The psychic I saw today told me NOT to text the guy I haven't heard from yet since our first date this weekend b/c it wouldn't go anywhere...Miller light said otherwise. Miller light > Cleo
Guess who was PASSED OUT ON A BMW. I shit you not
Stop it right now
This time face forward
Hold on... Are we having an intellectual conversation about porn?
Yup
I love us.
I asked Tony because I knew he wouldn't give me a lecture about consequences
???? Tony IS a lecture about consequences
but real talk, he made 1 phone call last night and had someone bring us tacos at 3am so idk I might be inlove
Does sweetest day count when you're spending it with your fuck buddy, high and eating Pizza Hut?
I really would enjoy sexual intercourse with you.
Most formal booty call EVER
Randomize
