You hurt me so bad and it feels so good
ok shes still asleep, should i pee on her and say she did it herself? and by the time you respond to this ill probably have already made the decision
I haven't worn deodorant in like three days and have been laying around in my underwear listening to music and drinking. I think i've made my own Bonnaroo in my apartment.
I wish I had my own personal Asian lady that lived under my bed so that she could wax my eyebrows and give me a pedicure whenever I wanted.
two gay guys came in and bought just a kite and a box of wine. Why cant I have saturday nights that awesome
I used to not like fucking fat girls but with her gut clapping against her boobs, its like a standing ovation ever time.
Seriously I will never run in my wedges while drinking racing home to have sex ever again
While I was fucking him, he grabbed a taco off his shelf and started eating it. I had taco dripped on me. I have no idea where the taco came from.
one of the RAs is here. he told me his name is optimus prime and then took his shirt off and fell down
I passed out with my wizard stick taped to my hands and got woken up being poked with a St. Bernard
I think my vagina is phsycic. All day it tingled and then BAM Channing Tatums look alike fucks me like ive never been fucked in my life.
I would use the term shit faced but I'm too polite for that
He may be 6' 6" but I'm 180 lbs of pure rage and determination
Well just saw that professor I hooked up with on campus and I look like a dumpster baby
So drinking that old rum that I found in the ceiling of my dorm was prob not my best idea. But good news: my puke was so colorful b/c of all the skittles i ate
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