She told me she was a cowboys fan... I told her it was a waste of a perfect set of tits
just jacked off in the bed i was conceived in.
the pizza man had no reaction when jackie and me opened the door naked, i guess he's used to that shit
Fuck positive energy. I choose drinking instead,
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The 9th floor RA wants to know why we stacked 21 cinder blocks in the shower, and I can't remember. Do you?
When did you hit me on the head with a stool?
The weekend is off to a good start: she just got into a verbal fight with a hobo. Nearly a fist fight.
NO. ANAL IS NOT A GAME.
I got to see a stripper that did magic last night. It was glorious.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was trying to remember why my knees hurt then I remembered I was twerking on the countertops.
Like do I send him a nude to ease his mind off his brother having a stroke? I'm not very good with words when it comes to consoling... I would be a terrible mother.
honestly the most stressful part of moving is the chance my mom will find my vibrator
Am I under any obligation to let my new fuck buddy know I slept with his little sister?
i thought this was a perfectly normal conversation between two adult men about why this children's cartoon is quality television but no you just gotta be talking shit again
So I woke and tried to get up. Then I realised my foot was stuck in the pocket of the pool table.
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