my clit piercing makes the metal detector go off
you are my new fav person for making him do the walk of shame in pink footie pajamas!
You tried to call "time out" during the sobriety test.
I should work for the FBI. Or planned parenthood.
That's quite a broad spectrum. What did you do?
You described pouring milk in your strawberry cereal as a glittering magnificent water fall, skimming over the mountain and little strawberry citizens.
Planning a foam party. Swimsuits are mandatory, and please no granny suits. If you wear a granny suit I will stick you in the corner and put a cone hat on your head.
Also, my aunt grabbed my phone and downloaded the scriptures. Apparently I need Jesus.
New fuck buddy and long time fuck buddy are carpooling home for thanksgiving. #10hrconvoaboutmyblowjobskills
I lost my bra at his grandma's house so there's that.
Yep that's the face of someone whose dick I would put in my mouth without hesitation
I AM A GOOD PERSON AND THEREFORE I DESERVE QUALITY DICK!
I can't believe I watched you put a tampon in in the parking garage
Thought the acid was fake. Then my reflection didn't move when I did in the bathroom.
They think I fractured my spine while doing your cousin on concrete.
His hair is as curly as mine. It was like watching me go down on myself.
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