so I'm never txting u again after today...
y?
cuz i don't wanna see it on blogspot :)
ha...too late
After walking in on us in the living room, he still insisted that he slept in my bed with me afterwards.
DDing is such a bittersweet job, just got the entire history of this girls hookup career
I'm on my "fiiiiirrrst" glass of wine- the quotes mean it's the last of the bottle- so I really need you to pick up your phone so we can talk about this
My little brother just suggested we drink the rest of the vodka because it's raining. My job is complete.
Omg, looked at my call history, and judging by the times of calls it took me like half hour to walk home frommcds
I can feel the judgmental stares of Christians from around the world right now.
I can't go to class, I have all this weed to sell
Had a dream I went to Disney to visit you and then I got really drunk and puked all over these little kids in line
Can I just say how funny it is that your "respect" tattoo is right above the bruise from me slapping your ass
I am NOT pregnant
My barren womb can FUCK WHOEVER I want
I dont understand why so many people are content staying in and avoiding alcohol and sex
woke up and you werent here...its ok if we're never going to speak again but my furry hand cuffs are missing and i would like them back. thanks.
Omg no hes gotta go down on me. Then itll be like my vagina has kissed the stanley cup.
Having Father’s Day on Pride weekend is always so awkward. “Hey dad just calling to say I love you.” While I’m navigating my way through a pop up pool at a bar riding a penis floatie. Happy Father’s Day.
Randomize
