I cant find my shoes, my wallet, or my keys, but i know where your sister is.
well I washed the adderal like an idiot. the capsules broke but the beads inside were intact. so my landlady came in and caught me licking the dryer lint screen
He told me he wanted to break up so he could get "closer to God."
Does God suck his dick?
I'm making a contract of things you're not allowed to put in my ass
Why are you seriouly talking to me about this when there naked pics of blake lively on the internet? Priorities man...
I vaguely remember walking down the highstreet with a plate of K offering lines to passers buy. I sold a line to a taxi driver.
Doing lines of coke with a $100 dollar bill off a 6in x 9in photo of your childhood self really tells you where you where you've gotten in life.
in line at jewel. the cashier is puking in a garbage can while ringing up customers. glad to know im not the only one that 2012 is kicking in the face already.
We found him in the backyard throwing shoes onto the roof yelling "WHO BRINGS CROCS TO A HOUSE PARTY?!"
SIMBAAAA REMEBER WHO YOU ARE
WHAT GOOD IS APPRECIATING IF NOBODY'S NAKED
My friend asked me if I got home okay and I replied "Glad teat. Goodnight." Usually I can translate drunk me, but I'm even lost on that one.
I hurt myself, but I'm pretty sure I saved the carpet.
I just felt emotion and I'm not okay with it
Currently watching high school football on ESPN. Drink every time they say 'this kid's got potential' or 'look at this kid go' or 'atta kid' We're done for..
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