I woke up to him trying to put his dick in my mouth. When I asked him what he was doing he said he was trying to make me stop snoring...
I had to puke in a pizza box on the drive home. People saw.
I hope that the reason I've been psycho on him is that I'm pregnant and not just psycho.
He went down on me in his escalade and his dick is bigger than my forearm. I'm never going back to white guys.
Its 6am and I'm sitting on the couch watching Clifford. Crying into my risotto because emily elizabeth helped the girl in the wheelchair get over her stagefright so she can win a trophy. Never drinking alone again.
I could hear them screwing through my bedroom wall again this morning, so I started beat boxing to the tempo.
he said i balance and complete him. i feel sick
It's that thing where you don't have any food so you just drink beer to get your needed calories for the day.
my hand froze to the top of can of beer cuz i fell asleep outside. i decided to find a way to open the bottom of the can before addressing my severe frostbite. PRIORITIES!
BTW he text me to text him later after the concert to hang out. Im prepping my bed but I should know I shouldn't count my dicks before they hatch
Just keep your throat open and beer will always find its way in.
They think I'm one of them. I'm about to get drunk in a Santa suit and bust down the door singing Christmas carols.
This will never work. His dick is smaller than mine.
Wow. And yours is kind of small.
RIGHT?
Im looking at the faintest of claw marks right now. I just fell in love all over again.
Man I just realized that my only life problem right now is that I have to convince myself not to fuck a 19-y-o
Randomize
