Me too ba-by. I wanna bite your ear lobes they are so fat.
I cant. I'm trying to smell my vagina.
it's gonna be a chat room kind of night
my secret santa just gave me a pregency test
I drank almost a whole fifth last night. Woke up with blood everywhere wearing a "stereotype this" tshirt. How fitting
is there a reason why there is cup of piss in the fridge?
no
Wanna hang out, and by hang out I mean go get plan B... and maybe lunch, but mostly plan b
New carpet is nice. I'm making carpet angels. Like a fresh snowfall.
you were yelling that somebody needed to take your bra off with such enthusiasm my first thought was that you were on fire.
My roommate has gone Christmas crazy. It looks like Jack Frost came all over my living room. Wanna come fuck me in the fake snow by the fireplace?
"But puppies!" Is not an acceptable excuse for trying to drunkenly steal someone's dog, you promiscuous midget!!
You want to groom your chest hair? You mean with a little baby chest hair brush? Because that sounds adorable.
I'm spending my Sunday wishing the entire Patriots offense would let me touch their manhood
I'm just blindly tossing my dick into whatever comes my way.
is it weird that i just witnessed the marriage of someone ive had sex with on multiple occasions?
Randomize
