I just put out an orange level terrorist threat on her punani
All I know is for some reason I was sitting naked in the hallway playing an invisible ukulele singing somewhere over the rainbow. I wonder why security came.
Want me to give your number to an army recruiter?
I don't know... do you want me to use your number to sell used gay porn on Craigslist?
I sense beginning a prank war would end badly for both of us.
My judgement was not "clouded". My judgement was in the midst of a fucking hurricane or something ridiculous.
Hungover and I may throw up in my therapist's office. Maybe he is right about my drinking
I created a photogrid for every picture he has ever sent me of his penis. Now I can see every angle at one time. THIS IS GREAT.
Theyll love you, its bunch of older ladies who drink whisky and sours and talk about the sex seans in Game of Throwns
I used his number to look up his customer information at work. He's no longer saved as Magic Penis in my phone.
Dude, you can't drink while watching Star Trek. You hardly understand it sober.
It's an alien shaped cup though. i think that'll help me absorb.
Ok sry I left that ambiguous......did you want contact solution or fellatio?
You either got a dog, or you have a boy over. I can't tell from the noises which it is.
I have successfully trained your dog to bring me pudding cups!
Remind me to tell you: When threeways go awry, my MLK weekend story.
Do NOT. I repeat. DO NOT call me little one after we have fucked. In no world is that ok. Even jesus agrees.
Our love of vodka is more proof than a maternity test
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