we got a new version of the plan b at the pharmacy now. its called next choice. you would think they would come up with better names for these things.
My RA just tried to write me up for having sex too loudly during quiet hours.
I microwaved pizza rolls, a hot dog, and bacon in the same plate with no paper towels. I drank the grease at the end. I'm going to vomit everywhere.
can i drink enough to forget this semester even happened?
this chick on a show just showed her boobs and let some guy paint them others asked why she did it and her reply i quote "i was bored" why dont chicks get bored more often
The cab driver had me sign for the payment and I was like give me a second while I throw up right outside your door.
I made out with Jen. We were naked. I'm still gay. Forever
you know u lost to a carboard cut out of sammy sosa in beer pong last night.
How long after mardi gras is it considered okay to wake up topless and wearing beads?
Well it's official... The first guy I ever gave head to now holds 2 world records. Should I text him asking if I can try and break my record?
the reason i can drink whatever i want and you have a limit is because whiskey will never make my pussy not work
I took it upon myself to take one shot of tequila to have an excuse for hitting on my not-single coworker. It worked.
I just got hit on at the bar by a guy who used his mother as a wingman, she was pretty convincing. Only in Stratford.
I mean it's up to you where you want to sleep but I'm telling you you're going to hear us have sex no matter what room you're in.
Fair enough
He passed out in my car.
What's the problem?
HE'S STILL IN MY FUCKING CAR.
Randomize
