gavin joseph was born around 1 oclock 9lbs 12oz... over 21 inches long
Thats what she said
im surounded by vag. Like smog aound LA, i am suffocating in an atmosphere of pussy
am i the only one who has tried sucking their own cock????
Tonight i am praying for god to turn my pussy into apple pie because i cant count the number of times bruce chooses food over sex.
i sold my breathalizer so i could buy weed
Keeping my bail papers as a souvenir from when I was arrested. Too weird?
and thats when we got a drunken mammogram in the middle of cvs pharmacy
There r osticjed everywhere
Yeah, I wouldn't mind getting fingered in the corner of a dive bar again.
Sadly him cutting me out of the duct tape dress was NOT the most awkward part of the night. It was a littleeee moist under there.....
I can't come tonight. Someone took a shit in the dressing room. A.) Clean it up or B.) Kill myself. Text back with your answer.
Just test drove the kilt for Justin's wedding. NEVER. WEARING. PANTS. AGAIN.
I'm a lady. Ladies do NOT hump the floor.
It's wednesday. OF COURSE HE'S DRUNK.
I made the antidote to the nasty cognac. I AM THE GOD OF MIXED DRINKS.
Randomize
