he quoted Bring It On. It's over.
You really need to take down the pics of you and your boyfriend on facebook. It's becoming increasingly harder to jerk off while i'm Facebook stalking your pics at 2am.
dude, she masturbates with a ken doll.
What's he like?
The usual. Sarcastic, dark, full of fucked up emotional problems that result in fantastic sexual prowess.
you said you couldnt let go of the fence because your hand was molding to it.
I just had a heart to heart with a stripper I'm becoming a dentist.
Make this decision based on your love for dick - NOT based on the fact that its probably one of the worst things you've ever thought of doing
I need to make a new year's resolution to only pee in toilets. And it needs to start happening before the new year.
And please let him know I don't normally go off on long rants about feminist theory. That was totally the vodka talking.
but we were going camping. it only made sense to bring the 6 ft bong
My roommate just caught me cleaning a tostitos queso jar with my hand and eating it. He didn't judge. Bonding moment.
I just spent 12 consecutive hours in the same outfit and none of it was pajamas. If that's not personal growth, I don't know what is.
I know we were going to go hiking today, but I don’t think I can face reality until Wednesday
I woke up with my shoes on but pants in the fish tank
I BLEED THE BLOOD OF MY ANCESTORS WHO FOUGHT SO BRAVELY FOR MY FREEDOM
cool u want pads or tampons
tampons please
Randomize
