All I want to do right now is burp, puke, and fart. In that order.
you made wolf sounds and yelled "team me" the entire movie
Can you explain my first weekend back, because there a lot of blacked out gaps and 32 friend requests i would like to know about
tonight i'm going for the "i fuck with the lights on" look
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Don't worry. This time I'll get black out drunk so they'll just think it's an American thing.
I cant be sure, but i think ive been drunk in this church before.
I have been referring to it as "thanks for getting out of me day" all week. Do you think they will still take me to brunch tomorrow?
Right now, millions of people are waking up to get ready for work, start their day, and be productive members of society. I just found a 40 stashed in my fridge. I'm getting daybreak drunk. Zero fucks are given.
Isn't being unemployed beautiful sometimes?
All I have done at work today is eat and try to get my coworker to tie me to his bed again
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just sat in the bathtub with the shower running so I could eat the whole box of mega stuffed Oreos. What am I doing with my life
Came back with a random sweatshirt, an American flag, and a for sale sign. Mission success?
And then you refused to pee in anything but a sink
I'll bring your "congrats on finally banging" cookies tomorrow, I'm exhausted.
I'm far too poor to be letting my hookups wear my shirts home. I'm down to about a total of 8 shirts and have no intention of buying more
Dude, i just watched a drag queen dropkick a motherfucker. this is a good night.
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