whats up tonight?
Ice cream, wine, and teabags... Not the earl grey kind
We should be called the Road Head Warriors
hey sry I lost all my numbers who is this?
pat the guy you slept with
still need a last name
that would be two times in a week with two different guys.
they have the same name so it only counts as one guy right?
Fun fact: Antibacterial soap will not take the combined smell of bbq sauce and vagina off your hands.
I used the picture of my mom and I doing blow job shots in Vegas in the presentation for my Spanish final. Graduation here I come.
Was I holding a cat when you saw me? Because that was the height of that party for me.
He started using my brother's rc helicopter as a beer delivery device. He's a drunk McGyver.
Where's Taylor bro?
Never mind found him under the sink
What would you do if your asshole suddenly made the sound of a sheep duck baa/quacking the words kill me
You are so incredibly one of a kind, it's astounding
It was big, black, and had a smiley face tattooed on it. It was the perfect penis.
we played animal sounds and i linked arms with her cuz we were both cats....fate and my community college drama teacher have chosen my one night stand
sending my old camp counselor nudes. childhood memory win or new low?
Kyle passed out in the tub after breaking a glass and shouting, "WHAT ASSHOLE GAVE ME A GLASS?" His girlfriend gave it to him...
so let me get this straight you just stared at his boner all night?
Randomize
