Just saw a midget shotgun a coors light
um. i met him on myspace...we text now, he lives down the street
fter the third song from an iPod commercial played I realized how much that frat sucked.
so i had sex last night with my 12th partner, but hes number 1 for my first time using a condom. i think im finally learning.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Apparently he always goes for the wrong girl so it should be easy for me to nail him.
They thought we spoke German and French even though we just kept repeating "I give to you a cat" and "Are you drunk?"
Her boyfriend was hitting on other girls while drunk. But, she said she was okay with it because she is a feminist and she supports all women's decisions.
You know whats not fun? Making yourself throw up on a sand dune at 4 in the morning.
Oh and probably wearing a life jacket instead of clothes didn't help things either
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We still going to Happy Hour
Idk. I can't because it doesn't fit in my schedule of sleeping or throwing up
Apparently drunk me thinks it's a good idea to put drops of acid in assorted open drinks in the fridge... This should be a fun week.
The bald eagles cry cause u drink canadian beer.
Right, try not to commit a felony that costs more than 4 dollars cause that's all I have in my bail jar.
No it's like. I don't respect you. And I think you're a terrible person but. I still wanna bone it out.
he told me I was hypnotizing him with my mouth so I guess I do give good head
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