oh my god, i just wanna eat cake off your dick
i am officially better prepared for a hangover tomorrow than i was for christmas.
No i dont need Magnum Condoms, that would be like putting MC Hammer pants on my dick
Fine. Just this once and because its veterans day will I send you a picture of my tits. You're lucky I love this country.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just watched her pee in a trashcan, im still probably going to fuck her, what does that say about my standards
She told me that as long as she kept starring at the freckle on her arm she wouldnt throw up
in my defense i said 'lock up your wives' before going out.
Still borderline I believe. As bad as this sounds, I feel God owes me one here and should not let his grandmother die till after my birthday
Just put your hair in a bun. We're going out to drink, not to impress people.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
future-me showed up mid trip and gave us a thumbs up.
but how can he casually chat with my father 8 hours after asking me if i'm a screamer
She invited us over for cocaine and donuts
Ugh I feel like I just got hit by a big giant sex bus.
On a side note, my ex husband offered to buy me shrooms
lmao he sent me a snapped but i'm afraid to open.
i think i have dick pic PTSD.
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