I just pynch a tree in the face
Not hooking up w him- he has one of those L.L. Bean book bags w his initials on it
I remember why I come home for the holidays. Sam Adams is the cheapest beer in the fridge
I have a feeling this won't be the last time I wake up wrapped in a shower curtain with the words "Blame Bono" spray painted on it
She said her tits were too big, and he slapped her. He said that Jesus didn't appreciate bitches that fish for compliments
My walk of shame was far more interesting today. He's moving and was cleaning out his apartment, so not only was I carrying my clothes, I also walked away with 4 bottles of cheap wine and a jar of ragu.
Managed to discreetly puke out of a moving streetcar window, in front of no less than a dozen people. Nobody saw/said anything. I feel like a legit local now.
it's gotten to the point where there are no existing good choices. even our good choices are bad choice by anyone's standards but ours.
Only you would have to block the fucking governor of Tennessee from reading your tweets
What's great about college is that i can eat chocolate cereal for every meal and call it a money saving technique.
Im invoking the "no judgements" clause of our friendship.
My god, what have you done?
Cant really say how it happened but i woke up in the middle of the night and somehow pissed all over connors dad
I don't WANT a sex disease! Especially one assigned to me by my supervisor..
We got really excited for country fried steak then we had sex.
So there we are, fucking beneath the Christmas tree and I glance up and see one of the local Jehovah's witnesses staring in horror through the decorative glass in the front door. I'm so proud of us.
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