She took her shirt off and was broader than Dwight Howard.
Coffee is gods way of saying go ahead, get absolutly trashed on weeknights, I got your back
i just found out that washing ur bong in the dishwasher works. its been a productive day
nothing cures the holiday blues like an open bar
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He asked me to grab his balls and yell "thats a spicy meat-a-ball" Last time I do requests.
You'll have to pretend I'm texting you with buddychecks.
Like the Jimeny Cricket of cockblocks.
Ugh..Yesterday was a complete alcohol fueled shit show. Not making eye contact with anyone today. Don't deserve it. Eye contact is for decent people.
I tore the muscle in my left calf at the gym and still spent all evening in heels. UNSTOPPABLE!
I'm about to have a bowl of Advils... without any fucking milk.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No more house parties. We're almost fucking 30 years old and I slept until 6 pm.
It is such a beautiful day to not be arrested
Also what’s the official rule on washing one guy’s jizz off my back before I go out with another guy? That I should?
It's days like today that make me happy I'm not a porn star.
You woke up, looked straight at me and screamed "fuck barbara streisand!" and passed out again
She's the other freshman on this drunken voyage
Randomize