nah, its part of my diet to keep track of the servings of everything i put into my body
how many servings is brandon's dick?
theres a difference between trying to make someone happy and letting them fuck you in the ass
So he didn't pull out. And I like flipped out. And the he told me to chill and opened up a drawer full of packs of Plan B and handed me one.......
did i really just refer to you as "the mid season replacement"
Kill yourself wednesday started off with a bang, and im pretty sure im still drunk from tequila tuesday.
he got a rim job in the basement.
apparently i was the one who gave it to him.
I dunno what he did but it both burns and feels amazing to pee
Dude. You stood in a corner laughing your ass off while folding clothes, facing the wall. Yes, they were weed brownies..
I'm not taking advice from anyone I've seen passed out naked at noon on the hood of a strangers car. Meaning you.
A place where it's acceptable to show body parts is not a good place for me to be.
Some old bald man is a 100,000 dollar Audi sports car just revved his engine at me and held out his phone at me trying to get my number. I hate the valley.
HE LEFT ME THE DAY AFTER I LET HIM PEE ON ME. If you date him after that, I'll leave the fucking PLANET.
Just had an orgasim to the Star Spangled Banner so.. it was all worth it.
A fire alarm is going off in some building, people are running around naked and people are passed out in the MIDDLE of the sidewalk. If they ban parties again, I'm going to be pissed.
This is going to be so stupid, but do you feel the calluses on my hands when I give you a handy?
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