just ate pastrami before passing out in my hotel room. My room smells like a petting zoo
only if we run a train.
done.
bras are like tupperware for tits, keeps em fresh.
y-o-u-r-e = you are, y-o-u-r = your. you are a bag of douche not your bag of douche. if you're going to insult me at least do it in proper english. that is all.
He woke up screaming about pickles. I think it's gonna be a good day.
You know it was a challenge blowing out the candles. It was hard to think of a wish, while drunk, with a concussion.
She's not a foreskin expert like you
Well he has a golden retriever set as his background so there's no way he was filming us having sex
I need a costume for that party. Even if I'm just taking it off.
HE BEAT A GUY WITH NOTHING BUT RAZZLE DAZZLE AND HIS FABULOUSNESS
I paid for lunch, then he made a bunch of holes in my wall and destroyed my bathroom.
Just shaved my balls on a moving train. By far the most dangerous stunt I've ever pulled
Give me the sexing that I truly desire and I will reveal to you the mysterious location of the PBR's
She yelled Carpe Diem when she orgasmed. Is it too early to marry her?
Shame is for Republicans.
Randomize
