College reaches a new low. We just carved a shot glass out of a potatoe.
Do you think there are girls out there that really do like small penis?
It really wasent that hard. The male one had a M and the woman one had a W. I just couldent comprehend that at the time.
I put it into a sports analogy for him: there are three teams in the league- friends, fuck buddies, and dating, and the fuck buddies roster is full, pick an alternate team
I'm watching Intervention to get pumped up for tonight
STOP acting like a freshman, you have a drivers liscence now AND a PERSCRIPTION for birth control. Dont give all sophmores a bad name. Woman Up
I am the drunkest girl in the tree.
Also, just had a student offer to sell me Xanax. Want some? Just for like a rainy day. Or our memorial day shitshow. Or just another Wednesday night.
We should probably go now, otherwise the whores will descend.
I'm gonna let my dick speak for itself from now on. Seriously, it's always recruiting for me even after 6 hours of drinking.
The inflatable penis from those pics was mine... We broke him that night
You don't usually get feedback after a one night stand... But you hit it out of the park. I'm proud to call you a friend.
I'll do whatever I want when I'm 80.
If you are still alive at 80 I demand a medical explanation.
I mean, I want you to have freaky orgasmic fun to entertain me, but I don’t want you to risk HIV or car crashes
My mom is worried I'm not eating enough protein so she's sending me 48 cans of tuna. That's not a typo.
Randomize