I was passed out on the couch, she literally cut my boxers off with a 8" chef's knife and had her way with me.
theres a turtle on the table. helping me eat my ramon noodles.
My mouth taste like pussy and my dad noticed. Hahahaha
I WAS CONCIEVED IN THE BACK OF MY CAR. THATS HOW OLD THIS CAR IS.
...how and why.
PARENTS ARE MAGIC.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Please tell me you aren't concussed from dancing on the stripper pole
I have a lot of questions this morning, most of them start with "Did I..."
So our trip to Disney World ended in the three of us stripping at a gay club in orlando.
Oh my lord it is too early in the morning to be that horny freak
my vagina doesn't wear a watch
i think we watched the dark knight rises after you left but i might have passed out through most of it. I remember crying at the end though. sad tears then happy tears.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Home-made laxative recipe: activia yogurt and tequila shots. Any ratio ought to work.
I ended up changing her contact in my phone to "O Great Potato".
No one wants to start their day off with bloody lemons and a tampon in the toilet. Wtf.
Ur betting me $100 that I can't do ur sister?
Love waking up to a new contact named “Pizza” btw
he's figured out my code; what are you doing = I haven't found a better dick yet
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