glad you had fun, i did too. am rubbing aloe on my butt now.
Fuck U Mike is a golden god.
Mike give steph back her phone.
My nephew just came out playing with my moms vibrator.
I'm going to shit on something weird... I can't wait
apparently i peed in my fridge last night because my vegetable drawer was filled with it.
i have no idea who im with but someones making meatballs. im going to stay.
My mom's crying. That means it must be Christmas.
I'm the only kid serving jury duty. And I'm the only one who may walk out of here in handcuffs for a warrant. I'm enabling these people to doubt America's youth once again.
I'm so proud of us for fucking the same friend group before we met in a completely unrelated instance.
She handed me her tooth and asked me to hold it so she could swim.
I swear to god there was like a 2-second timespan in which he went from laughing to coughing, hiccuping, and subsequently projectile vomiting into the grass. There is literally a line in the grass, about 2 yards long, of his puke. It was more impressive than disgusting to be honest. And then he just shrugged and said "I have no idea where that came from."
I didn't mind you coming over, just I'm quite sure most booty calls don't involve a scavenger hunt...
You're right, I'd say my real all time low was when I let that fifteen-year-old feel my boob.
He called me kiddo. We can't have sex
On a scale from 1 to total dick, how inappropriate is it to pick your boyfriend up from rehab with a hangover?
Randomize
