And now his mom knows I was dipping my pen in company ink
well i just set every background of each phone in the verizon store to my face
I woke up to a text that said "You're a fucking asshole" Why is she so pissed at me?
Im guessing it has something to do with running up to her boyfriend screaming "THIS IS SPARTA" and kicking him in the balls.
Is that considered a cock block?
he burped in my vagina and tried to deny it...
When you get home we need to compare our schedules and set up masturbation slots. I'm scares of you walking in on me. Again.
Just realized i left my bra at his house. WHY do i suck at one night stands?!
Well I just put wine in my tea
Fun fact: drinking me now steals weaponry
He yearns for your heart.
He needs to stop being a pussy about it.
Just want to apologize again for asking to spot your form in the shower.
Yeah,I'm just gonna keep fucking other guys til this idiot figures out he loves me.
Also, you think turning 23 is bad, I just ran into the guy that gave my chlymidia
Sorry didnt text you yesterday. had to put restraining order on my ex.
I hate closet cases. I've been wooing this chick the entire quarantine. We finally meet up tonight, we're two drinks in, I've got my hand half way up her skirt and her husband calls. She promised to bring home dinner.
Bahahah I should. I’m the free range drunk girl who should clearly not be free range because who knows what kind of fuckery I would get into
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