Ended up passed out drunk in the neighbors lawn, still in costume. Neighbors thought I was a lawn decoration. Ten points for best Halloween ever.
Last day of classes. 1st day attending every class. I'm proud of myself
ah, there's nothing like waking up to picture messages of a strange man's cock. life is good.
haha, that's fucked up. flacid cock pictures are the mental breakfast of champions.
sex in a ball pit. and I thought ghandi did great things.
Sorry if I'm being weird. I'm dipping doritos in cabernet.
he just started chanting dark meat! dark meat! out of no where.
He just reenacted his orgasm in front of my roommates....using a squeeze bottle of mayonnaise.
Crashed the mayor's bday party, no list for some reason. Wore suits. Ludacris was there.
He smashed a plastic chair leg on a tree stump, threw himself into the side of our metal enclosure, stomped on the wreckage for a bit and then punched the fire.
The trashcan full of everclear punch caught on fire...you should probably come home now.
Haha, I gave you the rest of the cash I had on me and you bought 3 shots for yourself and beer for everybody except me FUCKFACE.
Apparently "I have the beer shits" isn't the excuse my boss wanted to hear. So sue me
It's like my life is one of those movies where after a bunch of outlandish events that only happen in a movie the girl realizes her true life calling and lives a great life with a sexy man of multiple races. But I'm stuck in the fucked up part where 25 year olds come in their pants.
The part of "Dave" will now be played by "Rob." Rob, why don't you unzip and show Dave why that is.
Why are we so great
Like I'm def going to a therapist but I wouldn't change a thing about us except maybe the peeing
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