Would you let Jessica Biel poop in front of you to see her naked...but you have to wipe her too?
maybe tonight we can turn coloring into a drinking game
do you think he would believe thats it not really my period, and that i ate a lot of licorice?
Can we progress our friendship to a point where i'm at least granted a blowjob allowance?
My farts smell like St. Pauli Girl. Last night was too much for a Monday.
It's impossible to flirt with the bank tellers because they see how broke I am.
Remember the time we were horrifically hung over, went to mcdonalds, an you merely felt the weight of the mcnuggets box and knew there was an extra?
like it was yesterday
i want you to know that after i type the word "your" , vagina is next on my auto correct text
You better of fucked him last night or do it now because he is buying all the roommates McDonald's.
I'm lost. Please come find me. I'm inside the I-270 circle somewhere. I can hear laughing.
We can just keep having sex until one of us finds someone we actually like
I think it's god's punishment for my behavior in Vegas . Lies were told. Angels were defiled. Pools were pissed in
You're an independent woman who is defined by her own actions and not by whether or not you have a man. You also have great tits.
Hey. I hope you have enough room in your car for me and a Honda civic front bumper.
it is time to test the effects of half a loaf of bread and overconfidence on the human body
Randomize
