Got some. In a truck. I will just pee you in the morning i guess?
i just threw up in front of the washington monument. such a scenic puke.
i think i recognize dicks better than faces
his mom cheated on his dad so i think he has a weird freudian thing for whores
I'm reciting my presentation (beer in hand) on the porch to a snowmen audience.
You could breast feed yourself wine!! This shit is genius!
Sometimes I wonder if my parents know that I mean horny when I say lonely.
That's the only definition of lonely that I know.
I refuse to have sex with you and your eBay condoms.
Hey do you have any hot friends that would settle for less?
So random question. Does beer act the same as other alcohol disinfectants?
I think I swiped left on my soulmate
The dude we met that gave us weed sent me a video of his balls covering the sun like a solar eclipse
I think I may have fully transcended this spectrum of life. I can see beams of light man. Down to the photons
What
The only downside is I can't stop skipping
I slept with six men with different nationalities this week. Who says I'm not a woman of culture?
My favorite part was making you pull out your lucky steelers vibrator and show it to jerome bettis at the bar
Randomize
