I'm gunna smoke cigs today. I feel like I'm in that powerful and gritty mood which requires them
Apparently you make a good broom.
I'm pretty sure I left my reasoning skills at home last night, and just brought anger and rage with me.
feel weird hangin out with you now that i've eaten your sister out
so...he totally just used scissors to cut up the weed. a wet paper towel to moisten the blunt....and a blow dryer so it wouldn't be wet. this dude either has the worst case of OCD or has the potential to be the next martha stewart.
He didn't speak any English, but I think I caught the word turtle in there somewhere.
Why would he say turtle mid-fuck?
He brought me bullshit flowers and a bullshit apology. Even shrek did more than that for Fiona. And he's an ogre. Does this not say anything about him?
it was good sex until i became a rubber doll and he became a jack hammer, so i guess overall it was good
Oh my god. I just RAN OVER a child. Oh my god this isnt my day. That kid was cool as fuck though
I can't figure out if I'm dying from all of the booze still in my system, or from the cement wall.
so we were doing it and I was like umm hi im losing my virginity can you take off your beanie
im glad to be known as "the girl you had sex with on a golf course"
Pretty sure I love my nipple piercing more than I'll love my children someday
I'm pretty sure ignoring the person that just sent you a picture of their boobs is bad nude etiquette.
I don't want a big night. But I am okay if we wake up in a penthouse at Crown Casino.
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