What should our trivia night team be named?
Define Statutory
Hurry. And bring back up. SHE WON'T STOP TALKING.
I'm retiring my vagina. Better yet I'm Farve-ing it.
Def the best call fo sho
That way it can come out of retirement anytime and play for different teams. And it can wear Wranglers.
what the fuck. my fiance told me she called our wedding band last night and told them to perform "best i ever had" for our first dance
I just said that Oprah is crazy and like 5 fat white girls jumped down my throat. I sat back and smiled.
I don't know why girls would even talk to someone as drunk as I was.
When She took off her bra.... A tube of lipgloss, her phone, I.D. And a wad of twenties fell out.... I'm officially no longer a butt man
i miss freshman lecture halls much harder to take shots in a class of 20
You are a piece of meat with a side of awesome to me.
But yeah, that is officially the new "I just came" picture
it was like teleporting. everytime i opened my eyes, i was somewhere different... usually the floor.
Will keep you updated on the sexual orientation of my new guy
I finished masturbating now I'm eating french toast crunch. What is life, and what are friends.
Banged a guy with 2 broken arms once. Top that
I am drunkenly riding a razor scooter up and down the hills of Cincinnati
What in the fuck are you doing with your life
Randomize
