She said I was really immature but whatever...oh by the way we just bought a toilet and turned it into a beer bong so come over
Definitely locked eyes with the stripper who gave me a lapdance last night as she walked by me and into the Ann Taylor Loft in Times Square.
Hey its bob the builder. Where did you go?
Screw this I'm going to go talk to her. If you hear sirens they're for me.
He makes this seasoned whore feel like a novice. I've met the one.
Immediate regret. She's like a chihuahua on crack.
Nope. Too hot. We just sat in my tub with cold water spraying on us drinking coronas. This summer heat is killing my libido slowly
What I thought was my travel sanitizer was actually my travel lube. Most awkward transit ride of all time!
Started crying to "that's the way it is" by celine. What the fuck uterus?!
Well, we 69'd in the Jacuzzi. If that tells you the kind of night I had. Neither of us knew we could hold our breath that long. Deff. Most. Dangerous. Sex. Ever.
Instead of saying hi she asked if she could touch your dick through your ski bib and NOW I understand why you wore it to the bars
dont know if she was trying to start a lawnmower or jerk me off. still wasnt to bad though
Hey, remember that time a week ago when we walk-of-shamed literally down the Vegas Strip at 8:45am and I had one broken heel?
Also I like oatmeal more than sex.
hey, so i dont know your name. but im guessing we had sex last night. seeing that you're in my phone as "had sex time thursty thursday guy"
Randomize
