oh btw spread eagle is not an appropriate phrase to use in a scientific presentation. learned that the hard way
the semester isnt officially over until i take the batteries out of my calculator and put them back into my vibrator
we were boning in the bathroom when her boyfriend came upstairs. I wish i could remember what happened next more clearly, because it had to have been hilarious
i think we should start charging the bum that sleeps on our porch rent..
All I know is that either you or I told a black guy that he looked like usher and he was sexy and that is our confession
We were naked in bed for hours and we didn't have sex. Either he's gay or he wants to respect me. Neither of which I approve of.
Eating nacho cheese off the carpet. How is your morning?
That sad moment when you flush your Molly down the toilet at the airport & watch your vacation slowly end..
But he does seem to be getting proper humping etiquette down. So there's progress.
If you've never been pounded by an Eastern European body builder, I would highly recommend it.
I'm ordering sushi and crying over finals. Come over and bring wine.
drunk and crying about Shakespeare- how's your night?
I didn't want to shower, so I shaved my legs in the pool . That drunk .
I think I'm dead. Also I think I stole $20 from a stripper.
You did. Then gave it to me.
I'm glad you got documented proof of my stupidity with a head full of nitrous
Hahaha and I'm glad you are doing whip its at a childrens basketball game
Randomize
